Who Me?

One of the powerful questions I use with my coaching clients when they are confronting a conflict or problem is, “what was your part in bringing this about”.

I just discovered that I signed up a client for a conference using the wrong name but correct email, phone number, and address. That had to be the registrar’s error, right? I wouldn’t make that kind of mistake! That’s called “shift the burden” (read, “blame”). Actually, I did do it – it was my bad. And I’ve learned that I have to own up to and clean up my own mess.

However, the temptation is always there to shift the blame, dodge the responsibility, avoid “cleaning up”.

When we stop to think about the ways we might be complicit in a conflict, broken relationship, marital stress or (fill in your own “blank” here), we began to realize the interconnectedness of the humans systems in which we live and work.

We also begin to realize our own frailties and our need to learn and grow. So what have I learned? You don’t really want to know, do you? Ok, I do sometimes make matters worse – my silence, guilt, embarrassment – all add up to complicating the situation. Admitting my contribution opens the door to collaborative peacemaking and resolution. Sometimes the other will take me up on the invitation and sometimes not. And sometimes that make me see a blind spot that I missed altogether.

The answer to the title question, Who, Me? is “yes, me”. Humbling as it may be, recognizing our role is the first step to wholeness.

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Maximizing Maxims for Leadership

One Piece of Paper – Leadership on one page, Mike Figliuolo

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Gratitude

Gratitude

Every year around Thanksgiving time, we start hearing about the importance of gratitude – and it is important.  But I was getting bored with the topic until I read this definition in Success Magazine:

Gratitude helps us understand the past, gives meaning to the present and hope for the future.

I think that was the October edition but I can’t find it! So much for my gratitude to the Success Magazine editors! Nevertheless, one of my major personal success strategies is Gratitude.  When I remember with gratitude what happened in the past week, year, whatever -  I see the experience in a new light.  I begin to understand the impact of an event, my own action perhaps, and it’s impact on my life and practice of coaching and ministry. In short, I learn something.

Practicing gratitude in the present however, keeps me rooted and present with events.  The practice of gratitude reminds me to notice what is going on about me. It teaches me to be self aware and present to the moment.  In so doing I am able to create meaning in the midst of the moment rather than waiting for time to pass.  Since most our behaviors are without thought and notice, they mean little or nothing.

And in so doing, I gain a a hopeful perspective on the future.  If I was able to learn from the past and create meaning because I “showed up” and notice the present moment, there is the hope that the future will also make sense.  In my gratitude for the past and the present, I am creating an environment that attracts more of the same. In my humble opinion.

Gratitude is a kind of  “centering” practice that grounds me in the moment while being open to learning from the past and being expectantly hopeful about the future (and there is not a lot of that these days).

All this to say, Thanksgiving Day is more than a holiday. It is a way of being.

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An Incredible Dance – We need one another this new year

A Dance We all Need! Click on the YouTube link for an inspiring dance of weakness partnered to weakness for  beautiful strength!

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New Year Revolutions

At the approach of every new year, I am inundated with people asking me my “New Year Resolutions”. I decided to leverage these encounters into learning opportunities by answering that I now call my “resolutions”, revolutions. Then I quip, “my resolutions will be revolutions, if I actually keep them!”   The ensuing conversation is usually an opportunity for learning about vision and persistence.

Here are a few thoughts to help you make your own New Year Revolutions:

1.  Celebrate!  What happened in 2010 that you can celebrate? List your celebrations – list them as in write them down. The act of writing will help to etch the celebration in you consciousness.

2. List your accomplishments – write a list of what you saw as success for yourself in 2010.  These may be healthy changes you have made, a job success, leadership accomplishment, the fact that you took more time for your family -  these are your accomplishments as you see them from your perspective.

3. What did you learn?  Each year we have encounters, situations, educational events where something “clicks” with us and makes a difference.  Note your learnings.

4. Reflect on the year and ask yourself, “knowing what I know now, what would I have done differently?”  Note some areas where you can apply that thinking to your life in 2011.

4. In what ways did I contribute – to someone else, to making the world a better place, etc?

5. What relationships enriched your life and what did you do to make those relationships flourish?

That’s it – only 5 items! Oh, well maybe one more – ask yourself, “what else can I add to this list?”

Coming later this week  – looking ahead to creating a vision for 2011!

With New Year Possibilities,

Bob Anderson

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Seek Criticism and Increase “Buy In”

I shouldn’t have any problem now – critics abound, and John Kotter (Buy In, Harvard Business School Press, 2010) writes that when we invite criticism, we are creating moments for innovation, new thinking, and a better plan. Maybe if I invite the critics to muse, I will feel better? Ahhh… but that may be my growing edge – feedback. When I coach clients about dealing with critics, my personal strategy is to step out of myself, listen and evaluate, bite my tongue and invite with love into my life that which will help me grow and improve my idea. Here’s the link to the article:

Dr. Bob Anderson
BreakThrough Life Coaching

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Steve Denning uses story to the max! His new book is available soon at Amazon.

Many of my coaching clients are ministers and management in the religious “non profit” can be quite a challenge. For a chance to explore some creative thinking from Steve’s new book check out the video clip below. You can pre-order his book at Amazon at a great discount.

Denning has written a lot about the use of story in large organizations. It was some of his material that I used in an Interim Ministry workshop in California. Leadership and the use of story telling is one my favorite research areas. You can read my take on that in “Teaching Our Story: Narrative Leadership and Pastoral Formation” (ISBN# 978-1-56699-377-7 Alban No. AL377 paper 2009).

Here’s Steve’s clip!

Steve Dennings new Radical Mangagement

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Getting it Done – a look at a new book!

Stever Robbins has a new look at how to get things done – simple ideas are easy to do!

Stever’s Nine steps are a life line when overwhelmed with “stuff”.. the first is indispensable for a BreakThrough kind of life.

Step 1: Live and work on purpose
If you’re anything like me, a lot of what you call work has very little to do with getting anything important done in life. Like when I compulsively check my social media sites every hour. That kind of thing must go.

I tried this step this today – and I haven’t gone to Facebook yet, despite the tempting tidbits about my grandchildren from my daughter-in-law.  I will though! Sometimes BreakThrough Coaching is about coaching myself. More on that in the next post!

Find Stever at  http://getitdoneguynews.com/#worklessdomore.  One of his video clips is below…

BreakingThrough,

Bob Anderson

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A Spirituality of Work for Labor Day

I heard for Joan Chittister in my mail this morning so I add her contribution for us to reframe our thinking about work.

Labor Day: a spirituality of work

“Work,” the Persian poet Gibran writes, “is love made visible.”

A spirituality of work is based on a heightened sense of sacramentality, of the idea that everything that is, is holy and that our hands consecrate it to the service of God. When we grow radishes in a small container in a city apartment, we participate in creation. When we sweep the street in front of a house, we bring new order to the universe. When we repair what has been broken or paint what is old or give away what we have earned that is above and beyond our own sustenance, we stoop down and scoop up the earth and breathe into it new life again. When we compost garbage and recycle cans, when we clean a room and put coasters under glasses, when we care for everything we touch and touch it reverently, we become the creators of a new universe. Then we sanctify our work and our work sanctifies us.

A spirituality of work puts us in touch with our own creativity. Making a salad for supper becomes a work of art. Planting another evergreen tree becomes our contribution to the health of the world. Organizing a good meeting with important questions for the sake of preserving the best in human values enhances humanity. Work enables us to put our personal stamp of approval, our own watermark, the autograph of our souls on the development of the world. In fact, to do less is to do nothing at all.

A spirituality of work draws us out of ourselves and, at the same time, makes us more of what we are meant to be. Good work — work done with good intentions and good effects, work that up builds the human race rather than reduces it to the monstrous or risks its destruction — develops qualities of compassion and character in me.

My work also develops everything around it. There is nothing I do that does not affect the world in which I live. In developing a spirituality of work, I learn to trust beyond reason that good work will gain good things for the world, even when I don’t expect them and I can’t see them. In that way, I gain myself. Literally. I come into possession of a me that is worthwhile, whose life has not been in vain, who has been a valuable member of the human race.

Finally, a spirituality of work immerses me in the search for human community. I begin to see that everything I do, everything, has some effect on someone somewhere. I begin to see my life tied up in theirs. I begin to see that the starving starve because someone is not working hard enough to feed them. And so I do. It becomes obvious, then, that the poor are poor because someone is not intent on the just distribution of goods of the earth. And so I am. I begin to realize that work is the lifelong process of personal sanctification that is satisfied only for the globe. I finally come to know that my work is God’s work, unfinished by God because God meant it to be finished by me.

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“Being”

Conscious Awareness of God – Albert Edward Day

In coaching others for effective living, one of my discoveries is that I often to not live with conscious awareness of God. I think that is because I am not always “consciously” aware of “me” – my “being-ness” in the moment. Too much of life is simple knee jerk reaction or on auto-pilot. Moses met God for the first time at the burning bush. He met God who was named, “I AM”. Being. I am. God is my source “center” for my “I am-ness”. When I am not aware of God, I am not going to be aware of my own I am-ness. When I am consciously aware of God’s being with me, my own sense of self is lifted to bolder relief. The following quote put me on that thinking track this morning.

God is not real to most of us because of the condition of our consciousness. God is closer to our minds every moment than our own thoughts. God is nearer to our hearts than our own feelings. God is more intimate with our wills than our most vigorous decisions. If we are not aware of God, it is not because God is not with us. It is, in part, because our consciousness is so under the sway of other interests that it cannot turn to God with the loving attention which might soon discern God.

Did you ever encounter, on the street, a friend whose physical eyes looked at you without seeing you? You walked right into him before the alien look on his face changed into one of recognition. Then he confessed that he had been so absorbed in thought about some other matters that he had not been aware of you, until your intentional collision with him. You were there, yet he did not see you. Though actually in your presence, he was nevertheless as unconscious of you as if you did not exist.

That is a persistent failure of the unemancipated consciousness. It can be so preoccupied by lesser realities that it does not sense the presence of the divine Reality surrounding and sustaining it. Something has to happen to end that absorption in other affairs, so that it can turn its attention to God.

Sometimes events will do it. One encounters God in a crisis that, as we say, “brings one to one’s senses.” Death, disaster, sickness, the collapse of friendship, are like the collision on the street. They shatter the tyranny of an idea or a dream, and release consciousness for the awareness of something greater than the idea or the dream–God himself.

It would be a very poor sort of life that was aware of people only when life collided with them, or was brought up standing by some decisive act of theirs. And it is a tragic life that becomes conscious of God only in those events that shatter its habitual thoughts and dreams and compel it to recognize God’s presence and activity.

What makes life splendid is the constant awareness of God. What transforms the spirit into God’s likeness is intimate fellowship with God. We are saved–from our pettiness and earthiness and selfishness and sin–by conscious communion with God’s greatness and love and holiness.

This excerpt is taken from a collection of daily meditations on the lectionary scriptures called A Guide to Prayer, edited by Rueben P. Job and Norman Shawchuck.

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